Wednesday, December 4, 2013

IVF, News

I thought that I would figure out a poetic/literary way to announce this...but the truth is, I am excruciatingly tired (good sign, right?), so I guess I will just get right to the point and say it:

I am pregnant.

!!!

Several blood tests have confirmed it, and my HCG levels are doubling every 40 hours, and so although I am still ridiculously early on to be announcing this news, I thought I would go ahead and do it--because with IVF, everyone knows your general timeline anyway, and everyone is asking and wondering...so you really can't keep it a secret for long.

So there you have it, friends: I am a whopping 5 1/2 weeks pregnant and feeling so relieved and grateful and overwhelmed and vulnerable and happy and scared, all at once.

I am ever-aware that I am still in the miscarriage danger zone, and will be for several more months, so continued prayers are appreciated.  My doctor did say that with my HCG levels, the risk of miscarriage is low, but I know this is never a sure thing.  I know this life inside of me is very fragile.  It makes me feel vulnerable to announce this news so early on, but I figure that if the worst should happen, I will want to share and seek support on my blog anyway.  So I am announcing it now and praying for things to continue progressing normally.

I am also ever-aware that I am extremely blessed to have had this outcome the first time that I did IVF.  So blessed.  Most of my friends who have done IVF have not had it so easy.  It feels weird to write that because IVF is never easy, but compared to the journeys of some of my friends, my path was fairly straightforward.  Again, I am so grateful.  So so so grateful.

I know how much infertility can sting, and I hope this pregnancy announcement doesn't cause pain for anyone else.  For those of you currently struggling with infertility, I am so sorry for what you are going through and I love you.  Truly.  I always pray for those who are facing infertility or waiting to adopt--I pray by name for those whom I know, and I pray in general for those whom I don't.  So if anyone is reading this news and your heart is hurting, I really mean it when I say that I am praying for you.  Please hang in there.  Sometimes that's all we can do.

As for me being pregnant (what??), it feels too good to be true--so surreal and so exciting--this little life inside of me.  I was looking through an old photo album from Ryan's childhood today, and I decided that I hope the baby looks like him.  I mean, honestly, should this kind of cuteness even be allowed??


And speaking of Ryan, the baby's due date is August 6th, which just happens to be Ryan's 32nd birthday!  This was also Noah's due date at one point, though he ended up being born on August 1st.

And speaking of Noah, I love him.  He has these new skateboarder shoes (be still my heart), and today when a random stranger complimented them, he said, "Want to see how fast they go?"  And took off running around the room.


He makes me smile every single day.  He made me a mother.  He is the reason I found the courage to try for another baby.  Ryan and I often shake our heads in wonder when we look at him--he is the best thing that ever happened to us, and I will always be grateful for my infertility because it brought Noah to us.

When I asked Noah if he wants a brother or a sister, he said, "Both!" :)  He's probably not going to get both of them at once, because although they did transfer two embryos, my HCG levels are not indicating twins at this point.  (I know some of you out there were wondering.)  We won't know for sure until I have an ultrasound, but for now, the doctor says it appears to be one healthy and growing baby in there.  Sounds miraculous and perfect to me.

Thank you all for your prayers.  Thank you for supporting us on this journey.  Thank you for loving our family.  Thank you for sharing in our joys and our sorrows over the years.  This is another chapter which we are hoping will have a happy ending in August.

I simply can't wait.

35 comments:

  1. YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!!! And while Ryan was to die for, you should have posted a pic of you as a little kid too. You were KILLER. Your kid is destined to be cute.

    So thrilled for you guys! Seriously - I still can't believe it.

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  2. Best news ever!!!! I have been thinking of you so much and wanting to ask so badly, but then felt bad asking just in case you weren't. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You get the best of both worlds you will find that there really is no difference in adopted or biological children, you will love them the exact same. I am so incredibly happy for you that you get to experience a baby moving around inside. It is absolutely incredible. You are still in my prayers. Congratulations!!!! This made my day!

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  3. I just wrote you a long comment and instead of hitting publish, I hit "sign out". Dumb. I basically said,

    YESSSS!! I"M SO EXCITEDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!

    I can't stop smiling for you:) So so exciting:) You'll loving pregnancy (duh)!! It does suck sometimes, but it's so great too. Can't wait to see your belly grow!

    Congrats, hermana!! And Ryan! and Noah! Besitos!!!

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  4. Fantastic news! Congratulations!!
    Shelby

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  5. Thank you so much for posting your results and sharing with the world! I've been waiting anxiously to hear and am beyond excited for you!

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  6. I agree with Laura. You were a cute little kid! Can't wait for another blonde, blue eyed baby to enter the world!! So happy for you and love you so very much!!

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  7. So beyond excited for you!! And you're due on Caden's birthday! Can't wait to hear about your pregnancy journey!

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  8. My heart is so happy!!! HOORAY! Congratulations to you, to Ryan and Noah! What a wonderful blessing and joyful news. Thank you for letting us know so that we can delight and celebrate with you. You are in my prayers. This little baby is so loved already! HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!

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  10. Such amazing news! I have checked on your blog so often the past few weeks feeling nervous and excited. I'll continue to pray for a safe and healthy pregnancy. But what a wonderful way to enjoy the holidays. I think thinking of Mary and the baby Jesus will make your pregnancy during this time of year that much sweeter. Congratulations to you and your family.

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  11. Oh, so happy for you Rachel! That is the best news!

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  12. Rachel, that is awesome!!! I am always so amazed by what doctors can do these days, especially considering that a few generations ago, the answer would have been hands tossed up in the air, saying, "I don't know." I'm so happy it's worked out so far for you. I hope pregnancy is kind to you.... but even when it isn't, I hope all the best!!!

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  13. I am beyond Happy for you!!!! Instant tears of joy were shed for this announcement. Congratulations to your sweet family, you deserve it! I love you!!

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  14. Ahhhhhh! So so thrilled for you!!!! Many prayers for a healthy pregnancy. Wonderful news!

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  15. Yay! I have been hoping and wondering, but didn't want to ask because that felt way to nosy. But your family has been in my prayers and I have been thinking about you often! So happy to read your good news!

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  16. Yay yay yay! I've been thinking about you! Yay for miracle babies!

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  17. That is so wonderful! You were in my prayers and continue to stay in them. It makes me so happy to hear this. I think that in the picture you put up of Noah with his shoes, he looks so much like Ryan in the picture before! So, your kids will probably look alike:) Congrats!

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  18. Amazing News! I am so incredibly happy for you!

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  19. Rach, I thought I had more time when Google Reader ran out ;), but today, driving to the grocery store of all things, I realized that I remembered your cute blog address, so I came home to see and WOAH! You're pregnant! Most sincere congratulations! So happy for you guys! Will be catching up with other posts now that I've re-found you!

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  20. yay!!!!!! so happy for you guys and for noah to have a sibling!!! yay!!!!!!

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  21. We are so ridiculously excited for you!!!!! We will keep you in our prayers for a safe and happy pregnancy. This time of year always reminds me of Rounds Ave and the wonderful memories we made with you and Ryan (and our crazy-fun land lady). Sending LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your way by the boat full!!

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  22. Congratulations!!! So exciting!!

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  23. Complete and utter joy for you. Truly. And so glad you've announced publicly!!! Love you, Niels. xoxoxo

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  24. I'm so emotional reading this!!! SO SO SO happy for you both!! Amazing news. And you're right.... those baby pictures of Ryan are adorable! But the combo of both of you will be even more so! I have to go get some kleenex now, thanks. ;)

    Also, thank you so much for the comment you left on my blog. You are so thoughtful. I would love to try that program you mentioned. I'll take all the help I can get! And I'm about to blog about this, but I'll tell you anyway... last week my life changed! It sounds so dramatic but it really is. Olive started sucking her thumb and thus is sleeping better. She has transformed into a different baby. It's a miracle. I'm crossing my fingers that's it's not a fluke and she continues to be happy! Yay for thumbs!! ;)

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  25. Love you Rach! I'm so so happy for you.

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  26. I could not be happier for all of you! Thinking of you and sending out prayers and love. What wonderful news. xoxo

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  27. So so so so so happy! I put your name on the prayer roll at the Denver Temple last week. I'll continue to, and to pray for all of you.
    I love you much my dear friend! xoxo

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  28. I must admit I heard this before I read your post and I had to weep for joy. I am so incredibly happy for you and Ryan and Noah! I have been praying for you. This could not happen to a more deserving family! Love love love you guys!

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  29. I'm so excited to hear your exciting news! Congrats and best wishes!

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  30. So I certainly feel like a creeper, but I had to finally comment in this post! I am a friend of the Nielson family (I was Cole's age, cheered with Ashley a little bit, etc.) and we also just moved to Twin! My husband is also a dentist here. Anyways, I heard you guys had moved here and found a link to this blog through Ashley's. I just wanted to say congratulations on your wonderful news! And if I haven't totally freaked you out we should get together some time. I'm always looking for new friends :)

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  31. So happy for you! Congrats to your whole family!

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  32. Rachel, I am so happy for you guys, you are in our prayers, I hope this pregnancy goes very smoothly for you

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  33. You have been in my prayers since I first learned about the IVF. I can't believe I didn't go to your blog before now! Congratulations to you! Your post brought happy tears to my eyes this morning.

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