Monday, December 8, 2014

Sometimes Ryan and I Fight

In contrast to the sappy love letter that I posted last week, I want to admit something upfront to all blog readers: Sometimes Ryan and I fight.

Shocking, right? ;)

We don't fight often, but it does happen on occasion.  I think it happens less often now than it did a few years ago.  The first few years of our marriage, we didn't really fight because we were in total honeymoon phase (um, Ryan got up early every morning to iron my skirt and make me breakfast...?????); then we started to notice each other flaws and weren't mature enough yet to let them go; and then I read this book, which has a terrible title and cover art but truly helped with a lot of my control issues; and now we are in a comfortable phase of our marriage where I feel like we really "get" each other and have both learned enough about marriage/life to know that most things aren't worth fighting over.

But fights do still break out on occasion, as I'm sure they will for decades to come.

Marriage is just like that.  I wouldn't say marriage is hard--I would say it is awesome.  But just like everything else in life that's worth doing, it takes constant effort and tweaking and soul-searching and deciding to put forth the energy to make it great.

To that end, my friend Celeste recently started a marriage blog with her husband, Rich.  They are both so funny, creative, and insightful--and completely devoted to each other and their children.  What I admire most about them is how much fun they have together.  They recently performed a lip synch to Donny and Marie Osmond's 1976 Christmas Special at their church holiday party.  I think this photo will say it all about these two (and I must confess, I stole this photo without permission from Facebook--it's just too great not to share).

Do you believe me now when I say that you should subscribe to their marriage blog because you will be entertained (and also enlightened--I promise)?  Go and do it.

Today, as part of an awesome series on "confronting infertility in your marriage," they asked me to guest post with my advice on how to take care of yourself, your spouse, and your marriage while going through infertility...and I start my article by relating an epic fight that Ryan and I once had.  So if you are interested in less sap and more reality from me, click on over to their blog and read what I have to say here.

And here's a teaser just to get you hooked:

"I wish I could remember what the fight was about.  But as is usually the case with marital tiffs that escalate into blowups, the details of how it all started are foggy to me now.  

What I do remember clearly is that we were in the car on our way to a BBQ at a friend’s house—that I picked the fight and wouldn’t let it go—and that my quiet, sweet, even-tempered husband dropped me off in front of our friend’s house and drove away.  

I felt sick as I watched him speed off, knowing that I had pushed him too far.  I also knew that he would be back in a few minutes, but I still felt sad and alone and confused."

To find out how this argument resolved go to "'Joy Will Return': Taking Care of Yourself, Your Spouse, and Your Marriage During Infertility" at I Believe in a Thing Called Love blog...

Let me know what you think!


  1. Wow, I am really having trouble getting comments to you. First of all it never works on my phone, and then I type it in here and it all gets deleted. Boo. But I really wanted to tell you how absolutely amazing you are so I will say it again! :) You always are finding so many ways to touch and bless others' lives, and it is fun to see that happening with your writing and blogging (and podcasting!) as well. I love absolutely anything you write. It always comes out perfectly. Thank you for using your talents to bless the rest of us! You are not only a wonderful friend but a huge inspiration to me - I love ya!!!! xo


I love hearing from you!! Thanks for the comment!