Sallybration

June 14th is my mother's birthday. Her name was Sally, so every year on her birthday, my sisters and I do something special to "Sallybrate" her life. I want to keep this tradition going with my own children throughout their lives...so they can, in a way, "know" their grandma.

The first year after her death, my sisters and I invited a few close family members and friends to come to our home for a "Sallybration," and we all ate brownies (my mom's favorite food) and went around the circle and shared a memory of her.

Since then, we've never been together on her birthday, so we've figured out ways to "Sallybrate" long-distance.

The second year (which would have been my mom's 50th birthday), my sisters and I compiled 50 memories of my mom, which we sent to my dad via-email (we were literally spread all over the world that summer), and he responded with many of his own memories of her. That year, I also wrote my first children's book in a series entitled The Grandma Sally Adventures. These are self-authored, self-published, self-illustrated (poorly, may I add) books which relate true events in my mother's life. I've written three and have a few more planned. I make several copies of each book and send them to my dad and sisters, so we can read them to our children.

Last year, my dad surprised us by having a professional slide show of photos from my mom's life put together. I plan to show this video to my children every year on June 14th and talk about their incredible Grandma Sally.

My mother truly was incredible. I think of her every single day, directly or indirectly, and she still has a profound influence on my decisions and actions.

This year, to "Sallybrate," I am going to post some thoughts about my mother right here on my blog. I love to share her with others. It makes me feel like, somehow, she is still impacting people for good.

She was a woman who valued people--not things or beauty or trends or money. She was remarkably kind and generous and drew all types of people into her circle of friends.

Some of my favorite anecdotes about my mother:

-For their 24th wedding anniversary, my parents went on a Scandinavian cruise. (They weren't sure if she would be alive on their 25th...which she was...she was a fighter.) During the cruise, my mom insisted on buying a tacky t-shirt from each of the countries they visited. She came home with about ten over-sized, dorky t-shirts from places like Estonia, Norway, and Sweden. These shirts and a pair of Nike "tear away" basketball pants became her "uniform." Every day, she wore a different country t-shirt with her comfy pants. According to her daughters, Mom was a "dedo" (delightful dork)--she knew it and was proud of it.

-When my mother first got diagnosed with breast cancer, she had three little girls (ages 8, 6, & 3), and we were understandably very frightened by her condition. To ease our worry, she always made a joke out of herself. When she lost all of her hair from chemotherapy and puffed up from steroids, she would call herself "Mrs. Potato Head." Sometimes, she would take off her wig and hold up our Mr. Potato Head toy next to her face so we could compare them. Later, when they removed her lymph nodes and her arm swelled up, she started calling herself "Monster Arm." Her healthy sense of humor about her illness helped us feel comfortable and unafraid. She always put our happiness before her own.

-When I was in middle school, I went through a phase when I missed the school bus almost every day. I just could not get my butt out of bed in the mornings. (I still have this problem.) My mom was fed up with this irresponsible behavior, so she told me that if I missed the bus again, she would not drive me to school...I would have to figure out a way to get to school on my own because she was not going to enable me anymore. So, the next time that I missed the bus, I called a taxi. I love that my mother fully supported this creative problem-solving. I paid for the cab with my babysitting money, and she gave me a quarter to call her from the pay phone when I arrived safely at school. Can you imagine the shock of the school attendance lady when a 12 year old girl in suburban Littleton, Colorado (This wasn't NYC!) rolled up to the middle school in a yellow taxi? But guess what...I rarely missed the bus again!! (I think I only had to take a taxi two more times during the school year.) My mom was an extremely wise parent, and I will miss her advice when I have my own children.

Here are a few photos to capture my mom's "zest for life:"

Story time was always the best!

Mrs. Potato Head

Here she is with lots of hair...and loving it!

This photo was taken at the theme dinner my mom hosted when my older sister returned from a semester in China. If you look closely, you will notice the Estonia t-shirt and tear-away pants.

When my dad served as the leader of our church congregation, my mother planned a booth at the church Halloween party titled "Pin the Wart on the Bishop's Nose." I think some people thought it was irreverent...Mom just thought it was hilarious.

Even at the very end of her life, she was always smiling...

I love her and miss her and am so grateful for the immeasurable impact she had on me--and will continue to have on generations to come.