Friday, May 14, 2010
Top 3 Reasons Not to Have a Laparoscopy
3. You will have to waddle around the halls in a flimsy hospital gown--all the while wondering if you are exposing yourself to innocent bystanders.
2. Post-surgery, when all you want is a little TLC, the nurse might yell at you for repeatedly lowering your own bedrail so that your husband can "snuggle" you. ("I'm sorry!" I told her, "But I just love him!")
1. Your stomach will be bruised, bloated, bloodied, and sore. (My dad would not let me post the photo of this; he said it is too disgusting.)
Top 3 Reasons To Have a Laparoscopy
3. You will have an excuse not to go to school, grade papers, or reorganize Visiting Teaching...at least for a few days.
2. Some of your favorite girlfriends will stop by for a chat...and they might arrive bearing surprises such as, but not limited to, flowers, dinner, an adorable "summer tote," and a Wegmans banana cream pie. (Thank you, ladies!)
1. Your husband will have no choice but to spend an entire afternoon doting on you...and if you frequently remind him that you endured surgery because you want to be the mother of his children, then he might even agree to watch an 8-hour-long BBC special with you. I recommend Little Dorritt.