Ryan is in love with another woman. Her name is Joera. I think she lives somewhere in India.
This affair began 90 minutes ago, when he dialed up the Net 10 cell phone company's customer service line for the twentieth time this month. He was connected with Joera. Like all the other representatives he has spoken to/yelled at, Joera had a thick accent and robotic responses to all of his questions. But unlike all of the other representatives he has spoken to/yelled at, Joera actually knew what she was doing.
So instead of shouting at her in exasperation, he was shouting for joy. Sitting in the other room, I heard random outbursts of, "Joera, it's working!" and "CODE ACCEPTED!!" (Yes, he was actually calling her by name, and she was calling him 'Mr. Ryan' in response. It was kinda cute.)
I don't think Joera the Great really knew how to respond to her exuberant, American admirer. At the end of the call, Ryan informed her that, if he was in the same room as her, he would "probably give her a hug."
The poor woman was completely flabbergasted--and speechless. I spoke up and said, "Ryan, don't be creepy."
Oh, Joera. We love you so.