Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My Dream Came True

I never should've written on this blog that Noah was sleeping through the night.  Once I publicly admitted  to my good fortune (pretty much the very day that I admitted to it), he started waking up a million times a night.  Figures, right?  

I wish I could say that I wasn't frustrated by it.  He is, after all, very young to be sleeping through the night.  But once I got a taste of how wonderful it feels to be rested, it was difficult to go back.  Noah is a fussy baby--he has very few periods of content awake time during the day--and it's so much easier to be patient when I'm not exhausted.

It's true what people say: Being a mom is hard.  But just when I am getting discouraged and frustrated, Noah and I have these moments together that remind me how very lucky I am to have him.  

Last year, in the height of our fertility and adoption drama, I often envisioned and yearned for life with a baby.  I pictured my son or daughter being my little buddy, someone I could hang out with all day long.  For some reason, the picture that most often came to mind was of us cooking dinner together.  The baby would be sitting in his Bumbo chair on the counter, watching me contentedly while I cooked.  I would talk to him as I measured, chopped, and stirred, expounding on life as if he understood every word I was saying.  We would be best friends.

Yesterday, my dream came true.

It only lasted ten minutes before he started to bawl--but those ten minutes were enough.  I love my boy.  I am so lucky.


  1. Two of my four have been fussy babies...it is very hard. Trust me when I say they outgrow it (I didn't know for sure if Spencer ever would but they do). He is very cute!

  2. Yea for those 10 minutes! :) Collin was the same way. I remember wondering when I'd ever be able to finish a shower without him screaming and me jumping out. I couldn't get through a grocery store trip or drive anywhere without him crying. I remember describing him as just uncontent and fussy. I was even embarrassed when we went home to bless him because I knew everyone would want to hold him and I knew he would just cry while they did.... and no one likes to hold a fussy baby, so I just dreaded the whole thing! Anyway, it's amazing how time passes and now it's just memory. Although it makes me supremely grateful for Weston! I marvel on a daily basis at how calm and peaceful he is. It also makes me nervous for the next one! I don't imagine they will all be like Weston. :)

    I was pretty dang jealous of Noah sleeping through the night, I will admit! But I am sorry it didn't last.

    Thank you for all the kind things you said on my last post. They were really sweet and certainly made me feel a bit better! We will be thinking about you this Saturday! You should make caramel apples that night :)

  3. A) Can't get over that hair. He looks so much older with it, but then he's just so tiny. Makes me laugh.
    2) Never write about how well they sleep. I had to learn that lesson, too.
    4) I hear you on the visualizations of motherhood. Mine were pretty pastoral, and sometimes life is that blissful. Often it's not, but we relish the moments1

  4. He does have so much hair! And I've learned that, too: Whenever someone asks how he is, how he's sleeping, etc., I refuse to say it out loud for fear of jinxing things. Truly!

    I put James in his one little reclining/vibrating seat, turn on the oldies, and cook. It works for a while, plus I sing and dance like a lunatic for him to keep him happy. It works pretty well! He's not too keen on the Bumbo for too long, either.

    Enjoy all the moments, definitely!

  5. I think it's hilarious that your dream of being a mom was of YOU COOKING with your baby. I guess you really did want the opposite of your normal life, huh? :) I miss my lobster. Put him in his outfit and bring him to me! :)

  6. Ooohh, now I feel so bad about being jealous over Noah's sleeping! (Max STILL gets up once a night.) You definitely deserve an easy, good sleeper! But that just isn't how it usually works, I guess. Plenty of hard times with enough wonderful moments thrown in to make it all very worth it ... that sounds about right. I hope he keeps getting easier! He sure is adorable! I can't get over it. Good luck :)


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