Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Too much to ask?

My Christmas list:

1.  A personal cook.*
2.  A personal trainer.**
3.  A personal fashion consultant.***


*I cannot cook worth a darn.  To make matters worse, I hate it.  I blame my mother--she hated it too and never really taught me much about it.  I've been trying to cook and eat healthier meals lately, but I'm not good at it (which frustrates me), and it seems like such a production for just a few minutes of satisfaction.  Last night, I had a melt down and a slight screaming fit: "I AM NOT COOKING A SINGLE MEAL THIS WEEK!!"  Ry was bewildered but amenable to my decision.  So we're going simple for the next few days:  tomato soup, baked potatoes, pancakes...I just wish I had someone to cook delicious, healthy meals for us every night!

**I am pathetically out of shape.  Yes, I did run a half marathon five weeks ago, but I really haven't exercised since.  Why is my life so "all or nothing?"  I focus on one aspect of my life, go after it like crazy, achieve the goal, and then I'm just DONE.  It's really not the ideal way to live.  So this week, I joined a nearby gym, and I'm trying to get into it.  But, as is the case with cooking, I'm really not very good at it (which, again, frustrates me).  I can't even figure out how to do the exercises that the instructor is modeling because I have zero coordination.  Wouldn't it be nice if I had a personal trainer to develop a sweet workout for me and walk me through each move?

***I wore a very frumpy outfit to school today.  It was frumptastic.  But at 6:15 a.m. each morning, as I fumble around in the dark and throw on the first few articles of clothing that I can get my hands on, what can be expected?!  The problem is, I have a very critical audience.  I honestly don't know if there is an audience more critical than teenagers, and I can only imagine the internal comments that they have about my outfits every day.  How do you think they would react if I just shouted at them, "LOOK, I'M NOT GOOD AT THIS FASHION THING, SO CUT ME SOME SLACK HERE!"  Lately, I've tried wearing scarves.  You know, those cutesy ones that all of the fashion-savvy girls are wearing?  Anyway, I think I probably just look ridiculous.  But I don't know--because I can't tell.  Honestly, I have no eye for it.  That's why I need a personal fashion consultant to put together my outfits or at least approve/disapprove my choice before I walk out the door each morning.

Ahhh, such wishful thinking.  But alas, I am not Miley Cyrus or Britney Spears or Paris Hilton.  And so, I suppose that I will have to continue cooking my own meals (or resorting to cold cereal if I persist in my current trend), continue enduring ineffective workout sessions at the gym (I think it's more likely that I'll just stop going), and continue showing up to school in mismatched sweaters and skirts (and hope that my students don't judge me too harshly).


So, readers, I am wondering: What's on your unrealistic Christmas list?


  1. just remember how LUCKY you are to not be miley or britney or paris.

    you are SMART. and, as we tell our kids on a daily basis, THAT is much more important than what you wear or how you look (though i think you look great -- and a half marathon is a huge accomplishment!)

    maybe you should just go back to the awesome fashion sported in the elementary school pic on your blog :)

  2. Sponge curlers and pink taffeta...you're right; I HAVE come a long way!!

    Totally true about the Miley, Britney, Paris thing. I would SO MUCH rather have my life!!

    Sounds words of advice, Amber!

  3. That was supposed to be sound (adjective). BED TIME.

  4. I always stressed about my clothes while I was student teaching too. Things like, "Maybe these pants give me a wedgie." Wish I could be your personal trainer! Just keep trying, Sis. Everyone feels stupid in workout classes at first. Love you!

  5. First off, who wants to be Miley, Paris, or Britney? Scrutinized at every turn, hounded by paparazzi, often skanky, and even more often train wrecks! Not to mention that none of them are even that pretty or talented! Better think through the celebrity list more carefully next time. Second of all, I hear you. Especially on the cooking. Lastly, you need to get over the fashion thing. #1-You used to wear sweat pants every day to school, and now you have such a cute, classy wardrobe that both of your fashionable sisters not only borrow your clothing, but go looking to buy the items for themselves. #2-Scarves are worn with everything from workout pants to dresses. If you have confidence while wearing them they work. #3-Yes, high school students are critical. Of EACH OTHER. Face it, honey, you are OLD to them. Even if you are a pretty and young teacher, they are still just thinking, "Mrs. Nielson is really pretty and young for an old person." YOUR students have no delusions of you being some hip fashionista. Remember the clown suit and the crazy eyed horse rider with the nasty wig? They know you're a dork. Take it from a former fashionable "popular" mean girl....we're judging each other and ourselves. We are too busy obsessing over boys and scrutinizing our peers/competition to worry about what our English teacher is wearing that day. THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES! Only you do.

  6. This is why I need a sister in town! Forget my wish list, I just want my sisters! Plus, between you and Laura, I'd have a personal trainer and a fashion consultant--maybe not a cook (Thanks, Mom!), but, hey, at least we're all working on it.

    In defense of my self-consciousness, I can't wear too many of my cutest clothes anymore. I bought those when I was runner girl.

    Wanna come live with me and be my fashion consultant? :)

  7. I can help you with two of these things. You buy me groceries and I'll have your meals waiting every night around 6. I am not an official trainer, but I could probably help out with that too. But the fashion consultant...I am about where you are on that one. But don't feel too bad because I always think you look cute. In fact, I envy you sometimes on Sundays. You have the cutest dresses and skirts! And I have seen you in one of those said scarves and you pulled it off well.
    And don't forget, you DID run a half marathon!

  8. WOW. That's an offer! Natalie Dayton as my personal cook!! I guess it pays to publicly whine! But I think you feed me enough as it is, so I won't impose any further on your generosity. You're the best, Nat.

  9. Well, I KNOW you make a great tomato soup!! When I find a good recipe I will send it your way ... which isn't all that often though. On my list would be someone to style my hair everyday! I hate doing it! Also, a cleaning person. :)

    Don't worry, Rach, I think you're super cute!!! Good luck at the gym ...

  10. Maybe you should try some crock pot meals. Most of them are really easy and then your meals would be all ready for you when you come home at night! And by the way you look fabulous and I always think you are dressed so cute!

  11. my unrealistic wish list:

    1. a full time job with benefits
    2. a boyfriend
    3. an assistant to plan my lessons with
    4. a large amount of money to pay off all my debts

    I could keep going but it is depressing so I'll leave it at that :)

    This is what life's about though isn't it.. growing up and learning how to handle new problems or even old problems in our lives. It helps me to remember that I've always had issues and actually I've overcome some of them so history repeating itself tells me that someday I'll get these ones too!

  12. You do have one thing going for you:

    You just keep getting better and better at this blogging thing.

    I love all of your posts.

    This one was one of the best. . . or maybe I just forgot some other really good ones.

    What you need is a couple of pre-teenagers daughters living at your house. They are a great help.

    As for the cook, I am sure you will enjoy it more when you have more time on your hands, everyone hates throwing something healthy together at the last minute.

    And please don't even tell us you're out of shape. Anyone who just ran a half-marathon ain't got nothing to worry about.

  13. i'll take number 3. apparently that's all i'm good for. my new ward coined me weeks ago. but hey, if i can change the world one ensembly-challenged soul at a time, that's gotta count for something, right? AND what a good excuse to visit. seriously.

    as for unrealistic christmas wishes? well, i'd like a live-in nanny. mostly so i can do what i want whenever i want (go to bed, wake up, exercise, you know) and not have to have my children in tow. she would also need to do the grocery shopping, scrub the bathroom floors, the outside of the toilets (i got the inside), and put away the laundry after it's been folded and placed in their prospective rooms. i got the rest.

  14. My list...
    1. A diamond ring...that's all!


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